Movie Mechanic: Top Ten Tweaks of 2018

What a year it has been! 2018 has been full of great movies, dumb movies, and so-so movies. We survived the Snap of Avengers: Infinity War (unless you’re in the Soul Stone now). We saw Deadpool 2, twice. So, here we are at year’s end. The shop is open, and it’s time to do our Top Ten Tweaks of 2018.

10. Creed II.

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As our boy, Adonis Creed figures out what it means to be a father, it would have been nice to get a visit from Daddy Creed, Carl Weathers, even if only in the form of stock footage.

9. Avengers: Infinity War.

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It’s a shame that Thanos’s victory relied on Star Lord’s hot temper and Thor’s close, but not close enough aim. In other words, he got lucky, twice. Surely, the Mad Titan’s will needs no assistance from Lady Luck.

8. A Quiet Place.

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Great movie. I just could not believe that it took humans that many weeks to figure out a trap for the Earmogorgon. With billions of humans on the planet, we can run billions upon billions of mental simulations per minute, so statistically, the final resolution should have been discovered moments after discovering the demon’s weakness.

7. Incredibles 2.

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Should have been immediately followed by Incredibles 3. After 14 years, it’s the least they could do.

6. Mission Impossible: Fallout.

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Tom Cruise sure can run. And doing his own stunts really shows the man’s commitment to his craft. So, imagine my disappointment when the movie ends with Ving Rhames explaining why Tom Cruise deserves to be adored, not just by the characters in the show, but also the audience worldwide. We get it, Tom Cruise is great, we like his movies. But that’s as far as I go.

5. Aquaman. 

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The Bro who would be King. Skip the desert scene. Sebastian was right. It is hotter under the water. Under the sea!

4. Deadpool 2.

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If Deadpool has the ability to retcon everything now, he can go get himself proper medical care and a prettier face. So, since the lack of those things is a defining characteristic, let’s hope the retcon power is only a gag.

3. Black Panther.

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Killmonger died without ever admitting he was wrong. And T’challa delivered the fatal blow. This type of behavior is usually reserved for bad guys. It would have been better if Killmonger’s bloodlust had been his own undoing.

2. Ralph Breaks The Internet.

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First, it should be called Ralph Wrecks the Internet. Second, I can do without the cyberbullying morality lesson. Not that it isn’t important, but it takes away from the real lesson, which is that parents have to let their kids grow up and be who they want to be.

1. Venom.

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So what happens to the people Venom eats? All that mass has to go somewhere. If Venom eats a guy, does Eddie digest him?

The biggest fix here is simply don’t have Venom say “turd in the wind.”

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Well, there you have it folks! The Movie Mechanic is open for business again in 2019. I’m going to be taking a look at MCU trilogies to kick things off. Have a happy new year!

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