Review: Marvel’s Inhumans

A laughable attempt at dramatic storytelling.

Well Crunchers, its finally here, the moment that you could pinpoint on a timeline where the downfall of Marvel Television occurred. Sure, we’ve had some less than stellar shows or seasons in the past (see Iron Fist or Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 1) but this falls below even the low bar that those shows set.

 

On Friday, Jay, Cameron, Max, a few listeners and I had the opportunity to see Marvels latest foray into our living rooms entitled Marvel’s Inhumans, a property that has been teased on Agents of Shield for 4 seasons. Never do we see Agent Coulson, Daisy, Fitz or Simmons, nor a mention of Shield, The Avengers, or Guardians of the Galaxy. No, we are expected to care for a list of characters that have not earned our trust wherein we’ve been essentially buried under a barrage of mediocre story telling and wooden acting.

A far better group of Inhumans all on Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Inhumans starts with a girl running through a forest. We do not know who this girl is nor why she is running but we do know that IMAX, ABC and Marvel took this opportunity to showcase the abilities of the IMAX cameras that they misuse at every opportunity. The first 10 minutes of Inhumans is essentially one long IMAX commercial. This girl is “saved” by another Inhuman and, upon finding her, he convinces her that they are safe. No more than two seconds later, the lie detector test determined that was a lie, thank you Maury Povich.

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Who are these people? Besides a name we never really know.

Now you may think that this article is completely unfair, but I must say there were some bright points, Anson Mount (Hell on Wheels) who portrays Black Bolt for instance, shines in the final 20 minutes of part 2 but was laughable prior to that and Ken Leung (X-Men The Last Stand, Lost) as Karnak was surprisingly formidable against his opponents, and was portrayed nicely.

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The CGI used for Lockjaw may work on television but does not transfer well to the IMAX screen.

The only thing that Inhumans proves is that CEO Isaac Perlmutter, Executive Vice President Jeff Loeb, and show runner Scott Buck (who, upon writing this article, was discovered to had also been employed as the show runner for the co-flopping Iron Fist) need to be fired, never attached to a Marvel or ANY comic property for that matter, ever again. Scott Buck’s eye for detail is non-existent and he seems to not even care about the look and portrayal of the characters and would rather just continue to collect an easy paycheck. Which brings me to the biggest issue I have with the show, Medussa portrayed by Serinda Swan (Smallville, Graceland), Sure Serinda is a beautiful woman, but her ability to provide any depth to the character leaves much to be desired. It does not help that her costume and hair look like something off the set of a William Shatner era Star Trek episode, except worse.

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Not even Donald Trumps hair is this bad.

The second issue I have is Gorgon, portrayed by Eme Ikwuakor (Extant, Concussion). The Old Spice guy has more acting ability than this actor and it leads me to wonder does he even want to be on this show?! It seems that most of the actors here only wanted to be cast for this so that they could collect autograph fees from the comic-con circuit. In other words, its become “cool” to be in a superhero movie or TV show no matter how bad it is or you are (see: Jamie Foxx as Electro, Topher Grace as Venom or George Clooney as Bat-nipples).

Gorgon Couch Crunchers
The only thing Gorgon can guard against is my ability to stay awake.

Inhumans is Marvel Televisions poor mans attempt to capitalize on the success Fox has seen lately with X-Men, and an even greater offense to IMAX’s beautiful cameras and their abilities. My advice to the Cruncher Elite, Inhumans is inhumane to your time, wallet and eyes.

Only because I have to give Marvel’s Inhumans a rating I give it one throw pillow. Effectively making our lowest rated show EVER.

0 out of 5 cushions and a throw pillow (0.5)

throw pillow out of 5 small

5 comments

  1. I totally agree. I WAS THERE WITH YOU GUYS! And that was the only cool thing about that movie. So much potential but so poorly executed. All the human reactions to seeing inhuman powers were so fake. I’m a fan of CW crap acting and this was even so bad that I couldn’t handle it.

    Like

  2. I’d give the show at least one cushion but ultimately this was a terrible move for Marvel. I hope they learn their lesson that we won’t just love everything they do because their name is attached. This may end up being a good thing for the overarching Marvel Cinematic and Television Universe.

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